I have literally been staring at this blank page on Word for at least, 15 minutes. Isn’t inspiration supposed to swoop down and save the day? Isn’t it supposed to be easy? Ugh.

Hello there. Let me tell you about something that happened to me a few days ago.  I had a free period in school, so I decided to take out a note book and jot down some ideas. Little did I know, for the next hour or so (why are classes so looong!) I would be doing the following things:

That’s when it hit me, the realization literally hit me. I banged my head on the desk a bit too hard. I had writers block. It was as simple as that. WRITERS BLOCK. So it hit me, again. If you have writers block, do what everyone else does. Write a completely pointless blog post about it! I’m so original!

So, here it is. My say on writers block. (Please promise me you won’t fall asleep.)

When you actually want to sit down and write something and you think about what you want to put down on the paper, the imaginative, super awesome side of you is supposed to come out. Instead in my case, the super boring, totally lazy Amachi comes out in full swing. (No offence to all the super cool Amachi’s out there! #Respect) I have to sit down and put my hands on my head and verbally encourage myself to think of something cool. If you are standing next to me, you would think that I was in the middle of an exorcism. I mean, it would go something like this.

“Come on Aakani, think. You can do this! Just one idea, that’s all you’re going to need.”

*Closes eyes and begins chanting.*

“Oh sacred brain,

Master of my life

Do help me now, to write something down.

Please?”

Repeat an approximate of 15 times

*Puts head down on the table*

“I swear Aakani, there is a Snickers bar on the table and you will eat it only when you have an idea.”

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

*Throws the Snickers bar wrapper away*

“Ughhhhhhhhhaaarghhhhhhhhhh. Give me an Idea Oh sacred one!....

Oh screw it; I’m going to study or something.”

*Walks away like a BOSS*

Yeah, that’s pretty much what happens. I can’t even control when I have my ideas. Usually, I write down ideas onto a piece of paper. The thing is that I either, lose the paper or the ideas aren’t good enough! It’s always one of the two. Will I ever learn to write down my ideas in a notebook? Not a chance. I suck. On the other hand, when I have a totally awesome idea, I suddenly end up with a temporary case of memory loss. If I have an idea, the next minute, *poof* it’s gone. Then I want to stab myself. (Ha-ha I exaggerate. A lot.)

Writers block is truly something that we may not be able to overcome unless we have ideas written down and ready to be attacked. Something I will never ever learn to do because, I am a lazy old Amachi.  I think it’s really annoying and mean in a way. I mean, if you want to take ideas away from me, just do it in my sleep! Not when I’m fully awake and ready to take on anything! Because when I face you(writers block), all my self-esteem, my pride and my courage goes down the drain -.-

So, to wrap up I want to say, always keep an extra candy bar on your table. It is an excellent blackmail tool. Yeah, and something about writers block and being an Amachi and blah blah blah.

Well, this was a quick rant about what I find annoying about writing and life in general, I think I’m going to go now. Bye.

Hello again. You don’t necessarily have to have a topic when you write, right? I mean either you could have a totally epic, awesome idea which is just mind-blowing and could actually change the world, or you could be like me. Just for the record, being “me” is sitting in front of the laptop, singing a Rascal Flatts song and staring at the ceiling. Yep. I’m just oozing with creativity right now! (Do I need to point out sarcasm anymore?)

Anyway, this morning, I looked outside the window and all I could see were...*drumroll please*…trees. Yep. I saw trees. Not a big surprise. I mean, living in Munnar is like eternally looking at a thousand Christmas trees at once. It’s beautiful. Breathtaking actually. Now, back to the point, if this essay actually has one. My cousins, who live in a place which is not a jungle, always ask me whether I have seen the latest movies or gone out with friends recently. My response is almost always the same thing. I say: “No. I live in a jungle.”  Simple and straight to the point.

As much as I feel like a total idiot admitting to them that I haven’t seen the latest movie or things like that, I have to say that living in a jungle certainly has its perks. So here, I proudly present to you, The Perks of Living in a Jungle.

#1

If you throw me into the wild, I can most definitely survive. If you tell me that I have to live in the wilderness and it’s a less violent version of the Hunger Games, I would be the victor. WITHOUT DOUBT. (You think otherwise, you’re dead.) I mean living in the “jungle” for the past 13 years would have taught me something or the other. I may not be able to light a fire or make a shelter or do the obvious things like that but I certainly have other major survival skills like, updating my Facebook status regarding what I had for breakfast in the jungle, or I could also skillfully take a selfie with a monkey and post it on instagra—oh! Those aren't survival skills?….Lets just move on to #2.

#2

Another cool thing about living in the jungle is that over the course of time, I have learnt how to communicate with Monkeys. We always see monkeys outside, just casually swinging off of branches and making monkey sounds. “o-o-o a-a-a.”  I just know when they are agitated or when they are simply basking in the glory of the greenery and life itself.(I think.) I have to admit though, one time, I was sitting outside on the lawn all alone and all of a sudden I saw a hu-uge monkey swinging on branches and he was quite loud too. At that moment, I was terrified. All I could think about was the movie ‘Rise of the planet of the apes.’ I wasn't ready to be slain by a monkey of all things! So I did what was beneficial for the Earth. I screamed like a total girl and ran back into the house. Mr. Monkey would have probably gotten scared of my mighty roar and warned his fellow monkey friends not to hurt us. All of you humans are forever indebted to me. 

#3

Another cool thing is that there are enough and more trees. You know what are on trees?...Vines. You know what that means! I can learn how to swing on them to my heart’s content. Something city kids will never know or learn. I’m set for life now. Just think about it, when other kids get from place to place, they do it in a rather boring manner. But me? I will arrive in style. With the wind blowing in my hair and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It will be epic, until the vine breaks and I fall to my tragic death. Well, that escalated quickly!

#4

The final reason I find living in a jungle delightful, I can now finally call myself “Aakansha of the jungle.” Get it? You know, like “George of the jungle”? No? Uhh..well this is awkward.

These are the perks of living in a jungle. Oh boy, that was such a random essay. I don’t even know how to end it. Ha-ha! Well, let’s see, I love Munnar. It’s a crazy mix of everything.  It’s a place that houses all of my fondest memories. It’s everything to me. Its home. Anyway, I guess that’s it.

Peace.

Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop (mom’s laptop) literally thinking about how idiotic people can be. Seriously! It can get so annoying. When I sit at home in peace and quiet, I honestly hear voices. “Ey! Come here Da!” or “Ey girl/boy do this/that Di/Da.”  It’s a complicated language that I dont know. I’m smirking right now! It’s like you’re sitting outside on a clear sunny day and suddenly, there is a burst of thunder and then you DIE. End of story. (I exaggerate too much…meh) What I mean is that if you aren’t familiar with the weather of the particular place, it can obviously take you by storm (no pun intended  :P )   In the same way, the people of Munnar have one thing in common. Their slang.

It’s a complex language that all Munnarites understand. Saying Da or Di is as common as saying yes or no! I do understand that sometimes all Malayalees/Tamilians use this slang but man, Munnar trumps all.  Even though the vast majority speak either Tamil or Malayalam, it is entertaining to hear the way English is spoken. For every word, there will be an add-on. For instance, if you say “girl”, automatically, in Munnar slang, it would be spoken as “Ey girl.” The thing that I find most interesting is that it isn’t considered as two words. Instead of “Ey girl”, it becomes “Eygirl”. Same goes for the opposite gender as well.

Another add-on I was intent on mentioning was the “uh/ah” at the end of every sentence or word. I don’t know, you decide. Again, (let me bore you with examples) instead of just saying “Are you going there?” We say “You are going there-ah?”. So basically, everything gets turned into a question. “Understood-ah?”

Okay, so here is the thing. As much as I criticize the slang, I have to admit that growing up in Munnar and attending the same school from kindergarten, I have in fact (giggle) picked up some slang. I know! I want to hit myself too! But in my defense, it is kind of hard to study in the same school for 10 years and not pick up the style of speaking. Actually when I realized that I was speaking in a certain way, I was initially mortified. I kept thinking of how much I made fun of the way that other Munnarites spoke when I was speaking exactly the same

In school, I constantly hear my classmates using this sort of language. Do I say anything to them? No way! I mean its middle-school; I could ruin the rest of my life if I got on the bad side of 39 students! Oh boy, I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon. I refuse to be publically humiliated by the people I call “friends” (Again, Exaggeration much?) As much as I want to correct them, I bite my tongue because nobody wants to be a buzz kill!

Oh, I could go on and on about how people make fun of me just because I don’t speak Malayalam as fluently as them. Yes, it is my mother tongue and I admit it, I ought to speak my mother tongue fluently, but people, just face it. I can’t. I constantly get picked on and made fun of, I don’t care though, because I know for a fact that my English can kick their butts. *Pumps fists in air*. No, but seriously, they do make fun of me and mimic me speaking Malayalam in sort of a westernized accent. I deal with it though! The thing is when you want to fit in and when you want to be a part of a group, you need to speak like them. Saying things like “Eda/Edi” are things I say just so I seem to fit in. it’s funny though, the only things I say are “Pinne or Venda” (Malayalam swag man!). So my friends *cough cough* talk to me in Malayalam and I reply in English. They expect it too and I guess they’re used to it.

So my point is basically…that…uhh..I don’t have one. Okay, Slangs drop it. Actually don’t, its entertaining to listen to you jokers talk. To all the Mallu people out there who don’t speak Malayalam fluently, all I want to say is you guys a—oh. There’s only me huh? It’s ok, I’ll face the world on my own. (I’m emotional now) Ha-ha.  I’m gonna go now.