*TO MY DEAR PARENTS

I know that I spend all my free time using my phone Snapchatting, Whatsapping and IM’ing my friends. I know that I procrastinate like it’s my job and I do know that I tend to lose focus, it rarely happens though...who am I kidding I get distracted when I smell food. I listen to music 24/7 and I always have my phone with me. You only walk in on me when I’m taking a little break from studying and then you accuse me of not touching my books! Then you proceed to tell me that I’m ruining my life by not studying and that I am never going to get into college, how I am going to be homeless and unemployed and regretting the very day I “supposedly” didn’t study. Sheesh! (Don’t act like you don’t do this to me Ma!). Dear parents, my grades are alright and I’m doing well in school! I am not going to drop out, move to Italy and sell my artwork on the street, though that sounds like a great idea! I promise I won’t do that…uhh can I do it if I take you guys along?

Just because I don’t talk a lot doesn’t mean that I’m automatically anti-social. Okay maybe I am, just a teeny bit. Anyway, I listen. I listen way more than I talk. So parents, thank you for being the most understanding people ever. It’s going to be alright! Trust me. Okay I’m going to go pack for Italy now.

*TO MY TEACHERS.

Dear teachers, I know that sometimes my work isn’t up to the mark and you think I’m not trying hard enough. I know that going from class to class, facing loud, annoying children frustrates you. i need you to know that I do try and I work as hard as I can. I want you to know that I am not making fun of you, nor am I snickering behind your back. I am not one of those people. Sometimes I lose focus because to be honest, I do not care about how to improve crop yield neither do I care about the structure of the atmosphere. The truth is that I would rather be drawing or writing or something, I would, if I could, but I can’t, so I shan’t. ( if you recognize that reference, you are amazing!)

Yes sir, I know I should learn from my sister..Yes ma’am, I know that I should aim to be as amazing as her. Stop comparing me to my sibling! We are two different people, I will never be her! Just like she will never be me. I realize that you want what’s best for me, just let me be me! I may even surprise you. I am seriously very grateful to all the teachers who have taken their time to teach me everything that I know today. But please stop telling me that I’m ruining my life! please, I have my parents to do that for me! (just kidding) So basically, relax! I am not throwing my life away.

*HATERS

You hate me? Well okay, grab a chair and wait for me to care.

*GRANDPARENTS <3

I do not know what I want to do with my life! I haven’t figured it out yet. So please stop asking me! When you do ask me, I suddenly have to re-evaluate every life choice I have ever made, and I finally sigh and say;

“What is my life..”

Also, you have to stop telling me that I’m fat. I’m not weight conscious or anything, I’m just saying that after you stuff so much Biriyani and chicken curry down my throat, you cannot tell me that I’m fat. That’s unfair. Besides when I say that I’m full and that I’ve had enough food, you just give me that “look”. Oh and it’s okay if I look a little darker than I used to! It means that I have been outside, being active… It’s not the end of the world!

I know that I spend way more time indoors than I once used to. I have no explanation for that one actually, it’s just very very hot. But it’s okay, I promise I’ll go outside next time I visit! Or…maybe not.

*PEOPLE I MEET AT WEDDINGS AND FAMILY FUNCTIONS

Yes, I know that I am tall. Yes, I’m aware that I am the younger one. Please stop stating the obvious. Earlier when I was younger, I used to despise moments when my parents would introduce us (my sister and I) to someone’s sister’s, son’s, younger daughter’s best friend. I would just grin at them waiting for them to go away. Then this would happen;

“Hello! I am your grandfather’s cousin’s classmate! Do you remember me? I had come to your house many years ago when you were about this (indicates my size with hands) small”

*This is the part where I awkwardly smile and tell the person that I know them.

“You know me? Hmm…then tell me my name!”

*LIKE WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! I have no clue who you are and this is going to make me look stupid! What have I ever done to you to deserve this! Whyyyyyy……whyyyyy!!! Keep in mind that as I smile and laugh, in my head, I have figured out a hundred different ways to kill you.

Then I just l look at my parents, mentally begging them to change the topic. UGHH. Why does this always happen -_-

One thing I can do at all these social gatherings is, find all the food and eat all the food. I’m cool that way.

Okay. Finally done! That was definitely a rant. A long one too. So that’s exactly everything that goes on in my head!

Later.

Hey everyone! Long time right? So today my sister was studying and I decided to do what I do best, annoy her. Little did I know, that would soon turn into a blog post! Tamanna and I decided to pen down all the random things that make us happy! It’s a pretty interesting list! So here you go! Happiness A-Z!

A- Annoying my sibling

B- Being myself

C- Christmas and crazy dancing

D- Donuts

E- Exhilarating experiences

F- Friendship

G- Getting up late

H- Hugs

I- Internet fandoms

J- Jelly

K- KOOLKATKAVSS* (Sorry Kavya, but we had to!)

L- Laughing till it hurts

M- Movie marathons

N- New things

O- “OMG IT’S A UNICORN” moments*

P- “Parachute”* and prank calls

Q- Quiche

R- Random old memories

S- Singing as loud as I can

T- Trying new things

U- Ugly selfies

V- Very cute kids

W- Water fights and wild imaginations

X- Xylophones*

Y- Yawning and then watching the chain reaction

Z- Zebras (animated ones.)

* *****************************************************************

1. KOOLKATKAVSS: Our cousin’s super cool, 10 year old, alter ego.

2.”OMG IT’S A UNICORN” moments: iisuperwomanii reference.

3. PARACHUTE: Umm….we could tell you what it means, but it is too embarrassing: P

4. XYLAPHONES: We didn’t know any other words to be frank!

*******************************************************************

If you liked this post, you can check out my sister’s blog for more stuff! You probably should.

Okay?

Okay.

www.liveandlearn97.blogspot.in

WORLD CUP,  IISUPERWOMANII, THE OUTDOORS AND MORE..

July is finally here! It’s supposed to be cold, wet and sticky but for some reason this year, it’s hot, humid and dry. In other news, the World Cup is going on! How many of you are excited? Well I am, sort of.  It’s that time again when all die hard football fans and even the people who have absolutely no clue about football, yet want to feel included, come together to cheer for their country. Unfortunately, we Indians don’t do that anymore. The last time we cheered for our own country was in 1950. Sheesh! That was a long time ago.  I wasn’t even alive.

Recently, I came across this video that Lily Singh , aka the funniest youtuber ever, aka iisuperwomanii posted on Youtube.  Basically, it sums up everything you need to know, in order to act like you know stuff about the World Cup. It is pure PERFECTION. Check it out!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jua8jCjo-cc

One last thing about the World Cup, okay so everyone knows that Luis Suarez bit Giorgio Chiellini right, yes it was an unfortunate event but the memes that have been made about Suarez are hilarious! Take a look at these!!

 

They are funny right? HAHAHAHAHA!! Laugh. Laugh now.  Are you laughing yet? If you are, you’re a great human being! If you aren’t laughing, well let me just tell you that I know where you live. *EVIL LAUGH*

He’s got Chiellini stuck in his teeth! That just makes me laugh!! It makes him sound like some wild animal from the wilderness! Speaking of the outdoors, outside my house, there is a hu-uge lawn and there is a lot of space to run around and play. A year ago, I remember when a few guests had come to visit. I think they had 3 kids, I don’t really remember. What I do recall is how they(the kids) could not believe that we had such a huge lawn and I remember the way they ran from one end to the other a million times while my sister and I just stared at them wondering why they were so excited about the space. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love my house and it is beautiful, but I’m the kind of person who would rather just sit inside with a book or my phone.

Who needs the outdoors?? I mean there are animals and creepy-crawly insects and stuff like that. There’s a lot of poop, a lot of dirt and a lot of filth in general.  What if you were to accidentally swallow a fly or something?  Ew. Ew. Ew.

I’m kidding, who doesn’t love the outdoors! Okay maybe a few people like me, occasionally :P Sometimes, when I decide to take a nice stroll outside, the world decides to hate me. I probably walk into a spider web or step on dog poo. (exaggeration?pfft.. yeah.) I may even trip on a stone and scrape my knees or get bitten by some random bug which I then make my mission, to track down and terminate. That usually turns into me running straight back into the house when I lose sight of the bug. *shudder*

Then there are the monkeys, do I even have to tell you about the monkeys? I feel like I have told you about the monkeys way too many times. Umm, I’m not going to tell you about the monkeys. Read my previous posts!

Wow. World Cup to monkeys.  I don’t even know.

Bye.

I have literally been staring at this blank page on Word for at least, 15 minutes. Isn’t inspiration supposed to swoop down and save the day? Isn’t it supposed to be easy? Ugh.

Hello there. Let me tell you about something that happened to me a few days ago.  I had a free period in school, so I decided to take out a note book and jot down some ideas. Little did I know, for the next hour or so (why are classes so looong!) I would be doing the following things:

That’s when it hit me, the realization literally hit me. I banged my head on the desk a bit too hard. I had writers block. It was as simple as that. WRITERS BLOCK. So it hit me, again. If you have writers block, do what everyone else does. Write a completely pointless blog post about it! I’m so original!

So, here it is. My say on writers block. (Please promise me you won’t fall asleep.)

When you actually want to sit down and write something and you think about what you want to put down on the paper, the imaginative, super awesome side of you is supposed to come out. Instead in my case, the super boring, totally lazy Amachi comes out in full swing. (No offence to all the super cool Amachi’s out there! #Respect) I have to sit down and put my hands on my head and verbally encourage myself to think of something cool. If you are standing next to me, you would think that I was in the middle of an exorcism. I mean, it would go something like this.

“Come on Aakani, think. You can do this! Just one idea, that’s all you’re going to need.”

*Closes eyes and begins chanting.*

“Oh sacred brain,

Master of my life

Do help me now, to write something down.

Please?”

Repeat an approximate of 15 times

*Puts head down on the table*

“I swear Aakani, there is a Snickers bar on the table and you will eat it only when you have an idea.”

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

*Throws the Snickers bar wrapper away*

“Ughhhhhhhhhaaarghhhhhhhhhh. Give me an Idea Oh sacred one!....

Oh screw it; I’m going to study or something.”

*Walks away like a BOSS*

Yeah, that’s pretty much what happens. I can’t even control when I have my ideas. Usually, I write down ideas onto a piece of paper. The thing is that I either, lose the paper or the ideas aren’t good enough! It’s always one of the two. Will I ever learn to write down my ideas in a notebook? Not a chance. I suck. On the other hand, when I have a totally awesome idea, I suddenly end up with a temporary case of memory loss. If I have an idea, the next minute, *poof* it’s gone. Then I want to stab myself. (Ha-ha I exaggerate. A lot.)

Writers block is truly something that we may not be able to overcome unless we have ideas written down and ready to be attacked. Something I will never ever learn to do because, I am a lazy old Amachi.  I think it’s really annoying and mean in a way. I mean, if you want to take ideas away from me, just do it in my sleep! Not when I’m fully awake and ready to take on anything! Because when I face you(writers block), all my self-esteem, my pride and my courage goes down the drain -.-

So, to wrap up I want to say, always keep an extra candy bar on your table. It is an excellent blackmail tool. Yeah, and something about writers block and being an Amachi and blah blah blah.

Well, this was a quick rant about what I find annoying about writing and life in general, I think I’m going to go now. Bye.

Hello again. You don’t necessarily have to have a topic when you write, right? I mean either you could have a totally epic, awesome idea which is just mind-blowing and could actually change the world, or you could be like me. Just for the record, being “me” is sitting in front of the laptop, singing a Rascal Flatts song and staring at the ceiling. Yep. I’m just oozing with creativity right now! (Do I need to point out sarcasm anymore?)

Anyway, this morning, I looked outside the window and all I could see were...*drumroll please*…trees. Yep. I saw trees. Not a big surprise. I mean, living in Munnar is like eternally looking at a thousand Christmas trees at once. It’s beautiful. Breathtaking actually. Now, back to the point, if this essay actually has one. My cousins, who live in a place which is not a jungle, always ask me whether I have seen the latest movies or gone out with friends recently. My response is almost always the same thing. I say: “No. I live in a jungle.”  Simple and straight to the point.

As much as I feel like a total idiot admitting to them that I haven’t seen the latest movie or things like that, I have to say that living in a jungle certainly has its perks. So here, I proudly present to you, The Perks of Living in a Jungle.

#1

If you throw me into the wild, I can most definitely survive. If you tell me that I have to live in the wilderness and it’s a less violent version of the Hunger Games, I would be the victor. WITHOUT DOUBT. (You think otherwise, you’re dead.) I mean living in the “jungle” for the past 13 years would have taught me something or the other. I may not be able to light a fire or make a shelter or do the obvious things like that but I certainly have other major survival skills like, updating my Facebook status regarding what I had for breakfast in the jungle, or I could also skillfully take a selfie with a monkey and post it on instagra—oh! Those aren't survival skills?….Lets just move on to #2.

#2

Another cool thing about living in the jungle is that over the course of time, I have learnt how to communicate with Monkeys. We always see monkeys outside, just casually swinging off of branches and making monkey sounds. “o-o-o a-a-a.”  I just know when they are agitated or when they are simply basking in the glory of the greenery and life itself.(I think.) I have to admit though, one time, I was sitting outside on the lawn all alone and all of a sudden I saw a hu-uge monkey swinging on branches and he was quite loud too. At that moment, I was terrified. All I could think about was the movie ‘Rise of the planet of the apes.’ I wasn't ready to be slain by a monkey of all things! So I did what was beneficial for the Earth. I screamed like a total girl and ran back into the house. Mr. Monkey would have probably gotten scared of my mighty roar and warned his fellow monkey friends not to hurt us. All of you humans are forever indebted to me. 

#3

Another cool thing is that there are enough and more trees. You know what are on trees?...Vines. You know what that means! I can learn how to swing on them to my heart’s content. Something city kids will never know or learn. I’m set for life now. Just think about it, when other kids get from place to place, they do it in a rather boring manner. But me? I will arrive in style. With the wind blowing in my hair and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It will be epic, until the vine breaks and I fall to my tragic death. Well, that escalated quickly!

#4

The final reason I find living in a jungle delightful, I can now finally call myself “Aakansha of the jungle.” Get it? You know, like “George of the jungle”? No? Uhh..well this is awkward.

These are the perks of living in a jungle. Oh boy, that was such a random essay. I don’t even know how to end it. Ha-ha! Well, let’s see, I love Munnar. It’s a crazy mix of everything.  It’s a place that houses all of my fondest memories. It’s everything to me. Its home. Anyway, I guess that’s it.

Peace.

Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop (mom’s laptop) literally thinking about how idiotic people can be. Seriously! It can get so annoying. When I sit at home in peace and quiet, I honestly hear voices. “Ey! Come here Da!” or “Ey girl/boy do this/that Di/Da.”  It’s a complicated language that I dont know. I’m smirking right now! It’s like you’re sitting outside on a clear sunny day and suddenly, there is a burst of thunder and then you DIE. End of story. (I exaggerate too much…meh) What I mean is that if you aren’t familiar with the weather of the particular place, it can obviously take you by storm (no pun intended  :P )   In the same way, the people of Munnar have one thing in common. Their slang.

It’s a complex language that all Munnarites understand. Saying Da or Di is as common as saying yes or no! I do understand that sometimes all Malayalees/Tamilians use this slang but man, Munnar trumps all.  Even though the vast majority speak either Tamil or Malayalam, it is entertaining to hear the way English is spoken. For every word, there will be an add-on. For instance, if you say “girl”, automatically, in Munnar slang, it would be spoken as “Ey girl.” The thing that I find most interesting is that it isn’t considered as two words. Instead of “Ey girl”, it becomes “Eygirl”. Same goes for the opposite gender as well.

Another add-on I was intent on mentioning was the “uh/ah” at the end of every sentence or word. I don’t know, you decide. Again, (let me bore you with examples) instead of just saying “Are you going there?” We say “You are going there-ah?”. So basically, everything gets turned into a question. “Understood-ah?”

Okay, so here is the thing. As much as I criticize the slang, I have to admit that growing up in Munnar and attending the same school from kindergarten, I have in fact (giggle) picked up some slang. I know! I want to hit myself too! But in my defense, it is kind of hard to study in the same school for 10 years and not pick up the style of speaking. Actually when I realized that I was speaking in a certain way, I was initially mortified. I kept thinking of how much I made fun of the way that other Munnarites spoke when I was speaking exactly the same

In school, I constantly hear my classmates using this sort of language. Do I say anything to them? No way! I mean its middle-school; I could ruin the rest of my life if I got on the bad side of 39 students! Oh boy, I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon. I refuse to be publically humiliated by the people I call “friends” (Again, Exaggeration much?) As much as I want to correct them, I bite my tongue because nobody wants to be a buzz kill!

Oh, I could go on and on about how people make fun of me just because I don’t speak Malayalam as fluently as them. Yes, it is my mother tongue and I admit it, I ought to speak my mother tongue fluently, but people, just face it. I can’t. I constantly get picked on and made fun of, I don’t care though, because I know for a fact that my English can kick their butts. *Pumps fists in air*. No, but seriously, they do make fun of me and mimic me speaking Malayalam in sort of a westernized accent. I deal with it though! The thing is when you want to fit in and when you want to be a part of a group, you need to speak like them. Saying things like “Eda/Edi” are things I say just so I seem to fit in. it’s funny though, the only things I say are “Pinne or Venda” (Malayalam swag man!). So my friends *cough cough* talk to me in Malayalam and I reply in English. They expect it too and I guess they’re used to it.

So my point is basically…that…uhh..I don’t have one. Okay, Slangs drop it. Actually don’t, its entertaining to listen to you jokers talk. To all the Mallu people out there who don’t speak Malayalam fluently, all I want to say is you guys a—oh. There’s only me huh? It’s ok, I’ll face the world on my own. (I’m emotional now) Ha-ha.  I’m gonna go now.